Harvey’s Mother’s Funeral and Sunday Morning Tennis

  Harvey’s Mother’s Funeral and Sunday Morning Tennis

It was late Friday afternoon at the office. The phone rang. I picked it up.  It

was Harvey.

“What do you want?” I shouted. “Can’t you see I’m very busy.”

“My mother’s Funeral is Sunday at 9:00 AM at Stanetsky’s Chapel in Vinnin

 Square.” Harvey said.

“I didn’t know your mother died.” I said.

“She hasn’t.” Harvey said.

“So how can you have a funeral for your mother if she’s not dead?” I asked.

“What do you think? It’s Bertucci’s. What do think you can just “call ahead”

for a casket? This takes planning. You need a firm reservation.” This is

Stanetsky’s. There is a long line of people dying with reservations at

Stanetsky’s.  Anyway, my mother is dying and my brother Billy is flying in

from Vegas.” Harvey said.

“Wait a second!” I said.  Just because Billy is flying in from Vegas, does that

 mean your Mom has to die and keep the appointment at Stanetsky’s?”

“She’s having trouble breathing. Harvey said.  The doctors don’t think she’ll

make it through the night.”

“Wait another second.  Your mother!  She’s only ninety eight years old.

  Since when will a  little trouble breathing stop her from living? Your mom

went toe to toe at the Mass General with Henry Kissinger, when she was

recovering from her heart attack Remember your mother telling us how

 Kissinger almost drowned her. According to you mother, Kissinger had a

way of spitting out all his words. Besides, what if she doesn’t die?  Do you

have a substitute to fill in for your mother at Stanetsky’s?”  I said.

  “By the way, have you called  Andy yet?”  I asked.

“No, I haven’t had a chance yet. Will you do it for me?” Harvey asked.

Andy has arranged all of our Sunday morning tennis games for the past

twenty five years…the place, the time, the players.  Andy takes this task

very seriously.  Andy has been known to consider fining someone who calls

as late as Friday to report an illness and an inability to play on Sunday.

As soon as Harvey hung up, I called Andy.

“What’s up?” Andy asked sounding somewhat worried. 

“Harvey has arranged for his mother’s funeral Sunday morning.” I said.

“I didn’t know his mother died.” said Andy.

“She hasn’t.” I said.

“So how can there be a funeral if Harvey’s mother hasn’t died?” Andy asked.

“I know. I said.  I asked the same question.”

“Well, if she hasn’t died yet, Andy asked, couldn’t they arrange the funeral

for another day?”

“No. I said.   Seems to be set in stone.”

“What time did you say the funeral will be?” asked Andy.

“Nine AM.” I said.

“But that’s the time we play tennis.  Can’t they make it later in the day?”

 asked Andy.

“No.” I said.  It’s set for 9:00 AM, no changes, whether his mother shows up

 or not.”

“I’ll have to think about this.” said Andy and hung up the phone.

I called Harvey back and said, “I called Andy.”

Harvey said, “What did Andy say?”

“He wasn’t happy, I said. In fact, he was quite upset.”

“About my mother?” Harvey asked.

“No, I said, about the tennis game.”

“Are any one of the guys coming to the funeral?” asked Harvey.

“I asked Andy that question. Andy didn’t think so. He said that they said,

they had a hard enough time getting up early on Sunday for tennis ,he didn’t

think they could make it up for a funeral..

Andy also said he cancelled the court. He said there was not enough

time to get any substitutes.

 Our Sunday morning tennis game was cancelled for the first time in the last

twenty five years.

Andy had already arranged for next Sunday’s game, it sounded like he was

pulling himself together.

Harvey’s mom made it through the night. She died at 6;38 A.M. Saturday.

Harvey would not have had enough time to get a substitute either.

The funeral took place at Stanetsky’s on Sunday at 9:00 AM