MISHEBERACH PART2

                MISHEBERACH PART TWO

               Bless those in need of heeling with r’fuah sh’leimah, 

           the renewal of body,the renewal of spirit,and let us say Amen.

   It was Monday at about four P.M. We could tell there wasn’t much time left.

That’s why we came.We had been regulars. We had come at least once a week.

Dana called it the David Hour.This time it was worse. We looked at what was once a 

person that had become bones and eyes. We weren’t going to visit     . We hadn’t gone

the week before. I was very upset with what was coming out of David’s mouth.It

hadn’t been particularly pleasant for a long while. It had been impossible to please 

him in anyway for a long time.He was constantly rude to Dawn, his faithful partner.

Dawn would tell me later that she could take and understand his meanness ,because 

he was in so much pain. Dawn also commented that when she would leave his bed side

she had a life.She had a life full of loving,card playing friends.Dawn could leave the

insults behind in that room full of agony. Usually David would call her later that evening

to apoligise and tell Dawn how much he needed her and loved her. There wasn’t much I

could do to help Dawn or reprimand David,but on our previous visit David hit my wife 

Dana with both barrels. I call it both, barrels because of the remark’s insidious

 cleverness. David had become upset with Dana because she and Dawn had been 

caught laughing  in David’s room. David exclaimed,” You shouldn’t be laughing, when 

someone is dying.” It was just a week before Dana committed this crime ,that David had

asked, “Why we visitors weren’t bringing more laughter and jokes to his room.”There 

was no pleasing David. Anyway David was furious at Dana. Looking at no one he said, 

“That ignorant ex wife of mine,who had been right about nothing, was right about Dana. 

Dana’s a royal bitch.” The only good thing she’s ever done is bring two kids into this  

world that I love. I was very upset. He is now attacking my wife Dana through his ex -

wife.I’m just not going to visit for awhile. I can’t let him attack Dana, who had been a one

woman support team through many of his previous struggles.However, I had to give

the bastard his due. Here he is, I thought, suffering with all of these horrible issues, 

including most likely a severe case of dementia, yet still able to strike out with this

terrible insult. Truly brilliant, I thought, not only did he say that Dana was a bitch,but

he had his unreachable ex-wife to back him up. If I ever come down with dementia

let me have David’s version. 

    He always was good at being unusually mean. Our oldest sister was in her upper 

twenties before she married. He referred to her as “spinnie.” I recalled mowing our

sizable lot in Dorchester on a very,very hot day. It was a hand push mower and

it was also very humid. David pulled his car over to the sidewalk in front of our house.

He rolled down the passenger window and yelled,”Do you want to go to the beach?”

I came rushing over to his car,”Yes I’d love to.” David floored his car and yelled back,

“Just checking.”

      I never really had a day without David some where in my life. David was five and

half years older than me. He didn’t appreciate my arrival into the world. He apparently

didn’t see any reason for it. He claimed that his dog died the day I was born and that

things didn’t get better after that. David had been the darling of  five older siblings.

He had been adorable. Blond curly locks hanging down and a grin that could stop a 

train. But now there was me. Short of killing me, David was determined to make my

life miserable, and David was very good at it.

    I’m looking down at my brother David. I’m praying that I can find kinder thoughts.

I know David is not going to see tomorrow. If he does,there won’t be much after

breakfast. If he knew,if he could read my mind,I think it would make him happy.

Here I am torn with guilt for not feeling worse. My excuses are that he will be better off.

It’s true. He will be better off. No one should have to live with all of the miserable pain

that afflicted his body for so long,nor should we.

     I’ve now said good bye to five siblings. It’s a very bad job.