WHAT ARE WORDS WORTH: PUBLISHED IN A GROUP OF NEWSPAPERS

WHAT ARE WORDS WORTH??

ROBERT ISENBERG

A while ago I wrote a piece called “SMALL TALK.”  I suggested that the word So may look small, but it was definitely a bully. I also said that so is an obnoxious braggart. I explained what so had done to the word very . For many years when accepting a favor or a gift, most people would say, “Thank you very much.” So being so set it’s sights on very.  Now people say, “Thank you so much.” When so applied for this job it showed off by saying, ”Look what I can do that very can’t do!’ So took a deep breath, exhaled and tiny so became sooooo. So grinned and offered, “I can be as large as you want me to be.  It depends on the size of the favor or the gift you’ve received.”

Now very is sitting on the sidelines practicing deep breathing.

I cannot tell you how many letters I received from both fans of very and so. Fans for so were upset that I had implied so had been underhanded in getting the job. Very’s fans were just very upset .

One letter read, “ I read your column re very and so, I was FURIOUS! I’ve been using the phrase thank you very much all my life and I’m not about to change now!” Signed, So What.

Another letter, Dear Mr. Robear, “Don’t you think there is enough competition in the world?  You didn’t have to pin very against so to make your point. This letter was signed, Mr. I. Rate.

Someone just wrote, “soooooo very troubled!!!”

It seems someone has dared to take on an even more inflammatory subject. I just discovered a book called, “BANISH BORING WORDS.” by Leilen Shelton.  This book says the word said is very boring. I can only imagine said’s reaction after it reads this book. I’m sure said would have said something like, ‘After all the times you people have used me, it finally comes to this? I guess you’ll finally be happy when its all been said. Never mind that they made a pretty successful movie called, “HE SAID, SHE SAID.”

This writer doesn’t stop with said, she wants the readers to be roused. For instance she cites an example, “ He backed away from the growling dog.” Her point is this is a very boring sentence. Leilen’s suggestion is, “Slowly and carefully, he backed away from the dog.”  My suggestion is he ran like hell from the growling dog.  Having had some experiences with growling dogs, the last thing I want to do is move slowly. When dogs growl, I don’t worry about being boring.

This author even takes umbrage with the word boring. In no uncertain terms, she argues that the word boring is boring. How can the word boring, which is so devastating, be boring? What is worse than being called boring? Trust me lady, in the world of name calling, there are very few substitutes for the word boring.

In the article about so, I also wrote about yet. I mentioned that few people were able to define yet. I’m truly grateful for the hundreds of letters I received defining yet. Or should I say trying to define yet. Someone wrote, “So is the definition of yet up until now, or at this time?”  They signed off by saying, “ I’ll let you know which is the correct definition, but not yet.