GREAT EXPECTATIONS: PUBLISHED IN A GROUP OF NEWSPAPERS

GREAT EXPECTATIONS

ROBERT ISENBERG

10/31/2016

570 WORDS

When someone tells me how good I look, I frequently say that you must have very low expectations. I believe low expectations are the key to a much happier life.

   After watching all the debates, I definitely had extremely low expectations for the third and thank goodness, the last one. I even had very low expectations regarding the pundits. I watched the same vice presidential debate they did. CNBC which tends to favor the left declared Mike Pence the winner. Mr Pence sat there for ninety minutes and denied statements that all of America heard. Tim Kaine disappointed his supporters. He acted like a fifth grader who couldn’t contain himself. There was no winner. Besides what does a winner win?

  My wife, Dana’s mother lives in a senior community. Now what can your expectations be regarding the food that is served daily to over two hundred persons? Fair at best. Right? Wrong! It’s very good. Now is it really very good or are my expectations very low? In any case, I walk away with a very happy belly. I’ve never gone to a five star restaurant that met my expectations. Whereas the opposite is always true that when I go to a restaurant like the Ninety Nine, it’s always better than I expect. So is McDonald’s. Please don’t tell anyone I said that.

  Why let this issue pertain to only food. It sounds like a perfect recipe for life.

   Sport fans should know this better than anybody. The lower their expectations are for their favorite team, the better chance they have of staying sane. They need to give up the idea that they may have anything to do with the outcome. Some people believe a particular outfit that they wear will help their team win. It probably won’t! Some believe a certain seat and manner of sitting will influence the game. It probably won’t! I once visited a friend who was standing on his head trying to watch a football game.

  “Why are you in that position?”  I asked.

 “I have a sizable bet on the game and this almost always works.”

 Just about every day I read the Boston Globe’s two love columns. The writers usually want to know what they did wrong and what they can do to change things. My answer is invariably do NOTHING. Having expectations of changing another human being is the ultimate expectation and conceit.

 The love columnists usually give advice that is long and sensitive, but meaningless. Not true of readers who in today’s world get to comment. Their responses are usually, “Forget about it!” That is another way of saying, “Lower your expectations! Count your blessings! You missed that bullet!”

 The stock market analysts are constantly talking about expectations. Nothing could be more absurd, except when we are told that the analysts hate uncertainty. Those two words should be morphed into one. How can anyone live in this world and have anything close to certainty?

  Some of us believe when we make statements that most people will agree with what we have said. Wrong! It’s much better to have low expectations, especially with our significant others. I frequently begin my monologues by asking audiences “What’s the sexiest thing your significant other can say to you?” The answer is,” You are right dear.” 

  If you keep your expectations low you will not be disappointed that you don’t hear, “You are right dear very often.”