FACE IT! PUBLISHED IN A GROUP OF NEWSPAPERS

FACE IT 7/30/2017 564 words

I’ve lived with my face a lot longer than I ever expected to. In fact, my face and I have been around for quite some time. I’ve learned a few things. Not nearly as much as I would like to have, but then who has? However let’s get back to my face. For better or worse, I have no idea, no idea, whatsoever, what people see in my face. There was a time when people looked at me and simply had to tell me how much money they had. Very often it would come from people, I had never met. Once while I was waiting to board a flight in Japan’s Narita airport, the poorly dressed man standing directly in front of me, suddenly turned around and said, “Don’t let my clothes fool you. A few years ago I received a stock tip. I made a bloody fortune on it!” I replied that I was very happy to hear that. Since we’d be on the same flight, I wished him very safe travel. I was putting my clothes on at the tennis club’s locker room, when the man at the next locker, whose name I still don’t know, was taking his jacket from the locker. He closed the locker door and turned to look at me, “ I was a pharmacist before I retired. I bought a piece of land before I quit working for $35,000. “I sold it last week for eight million.” He put his locker key in his pocket and scurried off without offering a goodbye. Dana and I were leaving a movie I had despised. As we went to leave the theatre, I said to Dana, “God that movie was awful!” Dana retorted, “You probably missed half of it. You were snoring. I loved it,” she said. The very attractive woman in front of us turned and smiled at me, “I agree with your wife.” Her husband gave us a friendly look and said, “Let’s go over to Bertucci’s, across the street and discuss the movie.” We ordered four glasses of red. Before anything was said about the movie, the husband commented, “ We live in Andover and never had children and as a result, we socked away a lot of dough! His wife seemed somewhat embarrassed and wanted to know if we had kids. “Two girls,” I replied. He looked at us sadly, grabbed the bill. Paid it. He then motioned for his wife to get up and leave with him. They did. My face doesn’t just inspire money talk. In fact, it has inspired many other unsolicited comments. I was waiting for my car in a New York City garage alongside an elderly woman. She was staring at me and finally with a heavy accent said, “I saw you on T.V. last night. You were wonderful! Funny! So funny, I couldn’t stop laughing.” “Do you remember my name? “I asked. “ No,” she smiled, “But I can’t wait to see you again.” I was gathering my bags at L.A.X. A man and his son approached me. The father looked at me very seriously, “ I’d like your autograph for my son here.” “What name should I put down?” I murmured. “ I figured you for a wise guy,” he growled. “I saw your last movie and you stunk!!” With that comment and muttering something about my lineage, he stalked away.

FACE IT 7/30/2017 564 words I’ve lived with my face a lot longer than I ever expected to. In fact, my face and I have been around for quite some time. I’ve learned a few things. Not nearly as much as I would like to have, but then who has? However let’s get back to my face. For better or worse, I have no idea, no idea, whatsoever, what people see in my face. There was a time when people looked at me and simply had to tell me how much money they had. Very often it would come from people, I had never met. Once while I was waiting to board a flight in Japan’s Narita airport, the poorly dressed man standing directly in front of me, suddenly turned around and said, “Don’t let my clothes fool you. A few years ago I received a stock tip. I made a bloody fortune on it!” I replied that I was very happy to hear that. Since we’d be on the same flight, I wished him very safe travel. I was putting my clothes on at the tennis club’s locker room, when the man at the next locker, whose name I still don’t know, was taking his jacket from the locker. He closed the locker door and turned to look at me, “ I was a pharmacist before I retired. I bought a piece of land before I quit working for $35,000. “I sold it last week for eight million.” He put his locker key in his pocket and scurried off without offering a goodbye. Dana and I were leaving a movie I had despised. As we went to leave the theatre, I said to Dana, “God that movie was awful!” Dana retorted, “You probably missed half of it. You were snoring. I loved it,” she said. The very attractive woman in front of us turned and smiled at me, “I agree with your wife.” Her husband gave us a friendly look and said, “Let’s go over to Bertucci’s, across the street and discuss the movie.” We ordered four glasses of red. Before anything was said about the movie, the husband commented, “ We live in Andover and never had children and as a result, we socked away a lot of dough! His wife seemed somewhat embarrassed and wanted to know if we had kids. “Two girls,” I replied. He looked at us sadly, grabbed the bill. Paid it. He then motioned for his wife to get up and leave with him. They did. My face doesn’t just inspire money talk. In fact, it has inspired many other unsolicited comments. I was waiting for my car in a New York City garage alongside an elderly woman. She was staring at me and finally with a heavy accent said, “I saw you on T.V. last night. You were wonderful! Funny! So funny, I couldn’t stop laughing.” “Do you remember my name? “I asked. “ No,” she smiled, “But I can’t wait to see you again.” I was gathering my bags at L.A.X. A man and his son approached me. The father looked at me very seriously, “ I’d like your autograph for my son here.” “What name should I put down?” I murmured. “ I figured you for a wise guy,” he growled. “I saw your last movie and you stunk!!” With that comment and muttering something about my lineage, he stalked away.