WHY MEN ARE SUSPICIOUS OF YOGA: PUBLISHED IN TWO NEWSPAPERS

WHY MEN ARE SUSPICIOUS OF YOGA

 

Robert Isenberg

  My sociology professor at the extension school asked us to write a paper to describe the emotional

differences between men and women.  I decided to go to a local sports bar that generally catered 

to mostly guy guys.  I took a stool at the bar and tuned in.  The more they spoke

about sports the deeper their voices became.  Football comments were getting the deepest tones, but

basketball, soccer, boxing, even tennis were seriously discussed. There were T.V. screens everywhere.

  A Red Sox game was on. There were lots of high fives whenever the Red Sox scored a run. 

Then it happened.  One of the guys said that he heard Yoga was a good healthy activity. He also mentioned

 that it could be quite strenuous. There was silence. Yoga just did not resonate with these guys.

    Mostly these guys were eating burgers and fries with lots of ketchup. It occurred to me that

  if one of these guys mentioned they had just tried some tofu with brown rice ,there would also be silence.

   Not too many weeks after my bar adventure, my wife Dana and I were driving to Providence, when

Dana said, “I have a question for you.”

  “ Oh, oh!” I thought.  “I’m caught here in my car, no place to hide. I knew a trap question was

 coming.”

  “How long would you say that I’ve been teaching yoga? ” asked Dana.

    I thought. No way can I answer this correctly.

    If I said too few years, it meant I didn’t appreciate and value her work.  If I said

too many years, it meant I didn’t appreciate and value her work.  I took a shot.

  “Seventeen years?” I ventured.

  “Try twenty two. And how many times have you come to one of my

  classes?”

  “Not many,” I said.

  “How about none,” Dana retorted.

  “Not many is close to none,” I said.

  “How many times have I come to one of your performances?”

  “A lot,” I said.

  “When are you planning to come to one of my classes?”  asked Dana.

   “Soon.” .

   “Soon?  I may have to look up the definition of soon.

     Dana teaches classes in many different places. She teaches three classes

at the Boston Sports Club,  the local “Y”,  a class at Health Point, and

another in Waltham. She also teaches at our Temple once a month.  It would be that

Friday

   The timing was perfect. This experience would do wonders for my paper along with the

bar experience. The Temple class had the fewest people to look foolish in front of.

   I entered a dark room.. I saw five women sitting silently

 and not moving. Their knees were pulled forward, held by their hands. I tried to

recall. When did I ever see men sit this still?

  Dana is speaking in a very soft melodious voice and she is saying, “We will be going on

a journey.”

  Now when men go on a journey, they go somewhere.

  Soft strange music is playing in the background and these women continue to sit. They

are not moving.

   Dana then says, “We will take a path.” I’m thinking about guys like myself. They think

 of a path as something to walk on. These women don’t. They think of a path as a way

 of life.

   Dana then began to speak about sharing. When men talk about sharing, they

 are usually talking about something substantial like food or drinks. These women are

talking about sharing the spirituality of the moment.

   Dana then tells her students to caress their legs very gently, now when men hear the

word caress they usually aren’t thinking of caressing their own legs. Dana continued,

telling her students to stretch their hands down to their toes and stretch each toe. When

 men put their fingers to their toes, they usually are checking for lint.

  As I look around the room trying my best to fit in, I’m aware that there are candles

everywhere. Generally speaking, men don’t like candles. They love fires. They

will go anywhere there might be a fire. They will follow fire trucks for miles to

see a house on fire. They also love campfires.  They especially love barbeque pits. The

bigger the better. They just don’t like candles.  They don’t like their aroma and they

definitely don’t like wax.

  The women are now back in their original position.  Dana is talking about how nicely

the women have aligned their hips . I’m sitting there trying to find my hips.  Suddenly

the room is full of a strange sound….“ommmmm,” “ommmmmm”. I have no idea what

it’s about, but I’m terrified.  Is this some secret code word women have and they plan to

“ommmmmm”me?

  That evening when we got home Dana asked what I thought of the class.

   I responded with the only answer I could muster…”ommmmmmmmmmm”