DELRAY BEACH HAS ATTITUDE

LEXINGTON & DELRAY BEACH HAVE THEIR DIFFERENCES 

ROBERT ISENBERG 

7/30/2015 639 WORDS

“GRANDPA, GRANDPA.” Twelve heads turned. Whether I wish to admit it or not, I’m there in the land of the elderly. Delray is not that far from Lexington. Maybe twelve-hundred miles, but it’s another country. I could start with the weather, but why bother. Most everybody knows what went on here in Lexington Mass and most everybody knows that the inhabitants of Delray Beach, Florida say it’s cold when it’s sixty-five degrees. I’ve spent eight weeks in Delray Beach for the past two winters. Delray Beach has attitude.

 I recall my wife Dana making a reservation at a popular restaurant.  “The table will be waiting,” Dana was told. It wasn’t. The hostess was unreachable since she was surrounded by at least ten irate customers.

  When finally the crowd subsided, we said, “We made a reservation. Does a reservation mean something here?”  “Yes, it means something,” replied the hostess as she scurried away. Dana and I looked at each other. “ Do you know what something means?” I asked Dana. “Yes, if we were home in Lexington I could tell you, but not here. We might even be seated in Lexington.”

 Another “something” that happens daily is that the restaurants in the general area of Dana’s mom’s place fill up to the brim by four-thirty and by seven-thirty you could roll three bowling balls down any one of them without any danger of striking anybody.

  However, downtown it’s the complete opposite. It seems if you are over twenty-five you need a permit to cross into the downtown area. Nothing and I mean Nothing is happening in the downtown restaurants until seven-thirty and then SLAM- BAM- ALACAZAM, they are all jammed. 

Two separate cities moulded into one.

  It’s not just the restaurants. The driving is more than interesting. Perhaps the bumper sticker that says, “WHEN I GET OLD I’LL GO NORTH AND DRIVE SLOW!” suggests the horror of getting behind a driver in the passing lane going ten miles per hour and also making uncalled for frequent stops. In opposition of that are the drivers driving at Nascar speeds and cutting in and out. I’m not sure which of the two followed me into a strip mall. One did and decided to not just  blow their horn at me, but to hold it down for at least two minutes. The reason was that I had momentarily stopped at the strip’s intersection. Now had I realized that that person was in a huge hurry to get to Home Depot, I certainly would not have stopped at any silly old intersection, after all what was more important?

 On the first evening of our arrival we were told there would be a block party. We were anxious to attend and meet our

neighbors. The gentleman sitting across from me asked what I thought of the State Of The Union Address. I began that

I was impress. I never got to the “ed” in impressed. The gentleman on my left began shouting, “ He’s done nothing!!

Nothing!!!!” I thought then why are they trying to repeal everything thing he’s managed to accomplish.

I decided to say nothing.

   We decided it would be important to attend the election for officers for Dana’s mother’s section. Coming from Lexington we assumed the meeting would be quite civilized and mostly polite. It wasn’t!! There was much discussion about what had been done about mulch and what hadn’t been done. Turned out not much. Then the subject of driveways came up. One of the challengers asked the secretary whose job he was seeking, “Just how many drive ways had he inspected?”  The current secretary proudly said, “all three-hundred- and- four.” “ Well you did a lousy job!!” shouted the challenger. That was Delray’s version of polite talk.

  Once again I leave Delray Beach promising myself that next year I’ll bring more attitude.