HUGGING MAY APPEAR SIMPLE IT'S NOT

I’M NOT MUCH OF A HUGGER

ROBERT ISENBERG

9/25/ 2015

 I guess most sane persons have not given much thought   to hugging.  I have. I believe that doesn’t mean I’m not  sane. It just means, I’ve had a strong curiosity about   hugging and huggers for a very long time.  

  I think my curiosity comes from believing myself to be   a very poor hugger. The family that helped me grow up   did not hug. My friends where I was growing up did not   hug. I attended an old boys school. We did not hug. We   did not even touch.  

 I’ve tried quite hard to analyze what makes a good   hugger and what doesn’t. I know body size has a lot do   with it.  

  For instance I believe it’s better to be taller than   shorter when you are trying to hug someone. It’s  easier to reach down than up in the process of hugging.  Persons who carry some body weight tend to be better   to hug than those that don’t.  

 You also have to be a sincere hugger. I believe even the  slightest sign of insincerity in a hug will be detected   instantaneously.  

  Of course there are hugging methods. There is the one   handed hug.  This is not really a hug. It’s saying, ‘I’m  sort of glad to see you.’  

   The best hugs are given with both hands.  The question   then is do you squeeze or tap. I believe a squeeze is an  endorsement, a tap is a warning to be careful.  

 How long the hug lasts is very important. It should be  long enough to convey a message, but not too long.   Someone could get the wrong impression.  

  As a hugger, you are not in this alone. You are always   taking a chance when you reach out to hug. It could be   devastating if the other person does not want to hug   you. Worse if you just saw them coming back from a   bear hug with another person.  

  Hugging may appear to be simple. But it’s not.  

   I believe women were thought of, with good  reason, to be better huggers than men. However, I think  men are coming on strong, especially younger men. I  notice that younger men are ready to hug at any sign  of a person entering their space. This younger   generation seems to be born good huggers.  

 Hugging is like anything it takes practice, But that’s the  catch. It’s almost an impossible art to practice.   If you aren’t very good at tennis it’s not too    difficult to find someone to practice with. You   can usually go somewhere where tennis is played    and find a coach. This is not true of hugging. I don’t   know of any hugging coaches. If there were they   probably wouldn’t charge.   Another very serious problem with hugging is   nervousness. A certain nervousness or anxiety in   sports can work for you. It can help with that   competitive edge. But as a hugger your best approach is  cool. Nervousness tends to stiffen the entire body. Body  stiffness is definitely a serious hugging detraction.  

  I’ve also had some really un-cool hugging moments.  There was the time I had my body totally prepped to  hug someone I was sure I knew. I was wrong! Worse it  was one of my best hugs ever. I don’t think she agreed.  

  You may ask, “What makes a great hugger?” Good   hugging is hard to define. “You know it when you see it.”